Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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