you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
the liver wants what the liver wants
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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