Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
