What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
