How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
