Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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