I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize