We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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