dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
