He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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