I need to stop coming to work sober
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
