Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
