Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize