yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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