I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
