Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
