best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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