I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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