He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
