She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
