you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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