McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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