Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
