Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
