i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
