I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
