Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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