that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
