Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
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