I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
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