p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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