So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
