the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
