Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Vodka?
Forever.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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