I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
