Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
