He is an equal opportunity slut.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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