miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
