so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
