I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
