Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize