so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
