Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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