they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
