exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She needs sedatives and a leash
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
