Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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