I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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