maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
