There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
