The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Randomize
