Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
