Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
