We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
