Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
