I'm lost and stupid without you.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
