no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize