Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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