So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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