This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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