i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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