i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Found your dick twin last night
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
