Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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