ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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