The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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