Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Alive.
So much puke
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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