margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize