Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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