you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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