I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
